Signs

Have you ever had God just hit you over the head with something? When I was home over Christmas, my sisters and I had a conversation that was rather disheartening to me. I won't share the content but I will say that it really saddened me in regards to my adopting the little girl (or someone else) that I mentioned in the last post. On my way back to Springfield on Friday night (I really hate driving in fog and the whole drive was pea soup central), God hit me over the head with: it doesn't matter what others think are you going to follow me? God has clearly shown me that adoption is what He wants me to continue to pursue, so why should what anyone thinks have any bearing on my following God's wishes. How often do I, or anyone else for that matter, look for signs from God that we are to do something or not do something when He has clearly said in His word what we are and are not to do. That is not an original thought but paraphrased from a message by Ken Davis, on a Focus on the Family broadcast, I heard coming home on Friday night. See what I mean about God hitting me over the head. I have been stalling going forward with what needs to be done regarding adoption (becoming a licensed foster parent in Illinois is the first step) and if I truly want to follow God as I claim then I can't stall any more. So, all that to say, please pray for me as I make some phone calls tomorrow morning to find out how to move this process forward. God is far more gracious to me than I can begin to count. Aren't you glad God doesn't kick us out of the fold when we screw up? I know I sure am.

Random Things and Merry Christmas

This school year has been so hectic. I have 11 students from 16 to 20, the 20 year old just transferred to adult placement and 2 weeks later I got an 18 year old to replace him. I am renting a house and will hopefully be moving to a smaller rented house by the first of February.
I continue to be interested in adoption and hope to move forward with that over this break. Two great adoption sites I've found that will really make you think especially about how special needs kids are treated in other countries: reecesrainbow.com and showhope.org. I would adopt several of the kids from the reece's rainbow site in a second if I could but right now that just isn't possible. God has really put on my heart a little girl here in Illinois with some pretty severe disabilities but the moment I saw her I couldn't get her out of my head or my heart. I have been doing a lot of reading of late and adoption both from the spiritual and the practical side seem to be the focus right now. God has been so patient and forgiving to each of us, how can we not share that with children in need. I will be driving down to spend Christmas with my family this afternoon and hopefully to spend some time exploring favorite haunts in St. Louis too while I am there. I wanted to wish everyone a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. What a wonderful gift we have been given to celebrate on Christmas.

Painful Teeth, School Online, Summer Vacation, and Elisabeth Elliot

I have discovered teeth in need of a root canal can be devastatingly painful. Nearly a week ago I discovered I need a root canal on an upper molar. The weekend before discovering this was one of the most painful of my life. I didn't know a tooth could hurt so much. I am grateful for the doctor and dentist, that I was able to see, who not only correctly diagnosed the pain but gave me medicine to deal with it. I am doing much better but wish that the root canal could have been scheduled sooner so I could take time to heal before I start school again. The way it is scheduled now, I will be getting the root canal done and going to work on the same day. Isn't summer vacation lovely. I am actually enjoying vacation, knitting, reading and getting to watch baseball. Right now the Cardinals are playing a losing game against the Cubs but it is only the fourth inning or so. Gracey will be pleased if the Cubs win, I, of course, will be sad, but such is baseball, a very fickle game. I have started working on a baby sweater for the first time, it is so tiny, if this works out well it could become as addicting as the blankets have been. I have now found 4 different things (baby blankets, scarves, shawls, baby sweaters) that I can knit without needing to know how to purl. Purling looks so confusing to me, although everyone tells me it really isn't that difficult. On Tuesday, I will have finished my fourth online class of the summer. I do not recommend trying to teach summer school, take 4 online classes and have some sort of a life. Insanity is me. I will say that I have learned a lot and have many new things to share with my colleagues and staff when we start school again on the 20th.
Gracey was kind enough to share a great teaching series by Elisabeth Elliot on how to simplify your life with me. I really enjoyed listening to Mrs. Elliot speak but also I appreciated the reminders of the importance of putting God first in our lives and, particularly for me, remembering that it is not about us and our wants or wishes, it is about God and what He wants for and expects of us. I have greatly appreciated Mrs. Elliot's thoughts, insights and writings, throughout my Christian walk. When she goes on to Heaven, the world will have lost a wonderful voice for trusting in the Lord and doing what we are called to do even if and perhaps especially if we have no idea why or where the Lord is taking us this way. Mrs. Elliot's writings and Gracey's friendship two more gifts of God's grace to me.

An Apology

I am sorry that I have not written for the past month and a half. Things have been crazy here and I have been so focused on summer school and 4 online classes that I am taking that I have done a lousy job of keeping up with this blog. By the way, I have discovered that you should never try to do 4 online classes at one time and teach summer school at the same time. I haven't gotten to bed before midnight in the last week or more. I am feeling overwhelmed and frustrated with myself for not being able to keep up with everything in the way that I would like. God has been very gracious to me despite my overwhelmed state and panicky nature. He reminds me daily of the importance of what I do and that there is more to my life than just the job that I do, as important as that is. I will try to do better with writing and thank you for listening.

A Big Step

Today I took a big step and called an adoption agency about adopting a Special Needs child. I have always wanted children but have not been in a position where I could have my own. In the past, I have told myself that it is not good to try to raise a child as a single parent and I know what that's like as my dad passed away when I was eight. By the way, my mom did a great job with the three of us and I am by no means denigrating her gifts and/or her sacrifices, I am very grateful for my mother and love her very much. I have decided that while this will be a difficult and challenging road for me, that I can not continue to watch children grow up in foster homes and residential facilities as wonderful as most of them are. I must be willing to put feet to my faith and my beliefs. If what I claim is true (which I know it is) than I must be willing to walk my faith out and in this case that means seriously looking into adoption of a special needs child. There may be many who will say that I should not do this, that I can't afford it, that what I do each day is enough, or that my chronic illnesses will get in the way but regardless of those things (true or not), I know that I must move forward and I believe that this is what God is asking of me at this moment. I would like to ask for your prayers as I look at moving forward with this, that I would have God's heart and leading each step of the way.

Summer Corn Chowder and Comments that Made Me Think

I treated myself to a You Pick Two at Panera Bread (St. Louis Bread Company) tonight for dinner. A half of a turkey sandwich, iced tea and summer corn chowder (and you were wondering how that got in the title). Yes, I am crazy, I had soup on a day when it was 90 some degrees here in Springfield. It was very good soup, by the way, and if you have the opportunity, I would recommend it. There's a chowder at Longhorn that I like, as well, it has lobster and shrimp in it but I can't remember the name of it. Anyway on to other things. I don't, as a rule, listen to other peoples' conversations but when you are speaking loudly it is rather hard to miss. There was a well dressed woman sitting with several other ladies and commenting on careers that did not make money. She commented that being a teacher would never make you enough money or something to that effect. She is right that teachers don't make near the money of others with the same experience, etc. Both of my sisters and most of my friends have always and will always make more money than I do. Having said that, her comment caught my attention and it made me think of something that happened the other day. I was out enjoying an iced tea and reading a really good book when a woman and her son walked past me and I heard her comment to her son that when he was finished in the restroom, he was to sit in the chair, at the table, across from me and wait for her. The young man nodded and repeated what his mother had said to him when she asked him to and then entered the restroom. When the young man exited the restroom he walked right to the chair, sat down, smiled at me and waved. I said hello and asked him his name which he shared with me. We had a short conversation while he was waiting for his mother and then when she came out of the ladies room he introduced her to me, the three of us talked for a few minutes and I learned that the young man would be going to camp that night and that he was buying his mom lunch. He was very proud of the fact that he was paying for lunch with his own money. The two of them went up to get their lunch and I returned to my book. A few minutes later, the lady who had been sitting at the booth in front of me, got up to leave and as she was standing, she turned and asked me if I was a teacher. I was a bit surprised by the question and though I answered yes, there must have been a question on my face. The lady commented that I must work in Special Education because I had been so "patient and caring" in my conversation with the young man. I smiled and said thank you and then the woman stated that "You are in the right profession, never doubt it." I was shocked and said thank you again, the woman smiled and repeated her statement, before saying goodbye. If you put the comment from tonight with the comment from the other day, they make for some interesting conversations. Those of us who teach and truly care for the children in our classes and schools may never make what others will in a monetary form but perhaps we are there to make others think about what they do and perhaps why they do it. My students may never be able to hold a conversation with me or their families like that young man did but the little things they do are just as important if not more so. And in case I've not said it, thank you to all of the teachers and students who have crossed my path throughout my life you have given me more than I can ever say. Perhaps the woman at Panera tonight needs to spend some time with some of you.

Tortured and Imprisoned for Reading the Bible

In North Korea people are tortured for reading the Bible if they are discovered. This also happens in China, Iran, Eriteria and other countries. Believers are imprisoned, tortured, lose their jobs, lose their homes and other terrible things simply for reading their Bibles, telling others about Christ or simply for being Christians. There are many wonderful ministries serving those persecuted for their faith. Two of the ministries of Voice of the Martyrs that I'd like to mention are Prisoner Alert and Bibles Unbound. Prisoner Alert allows people to learn about Christians imprisoned for their faith and gives us the opportunity to write an encouraging letter to one or more of these believers, e-mail government officials on behalf of the prisoner, and of course, most importantly, pray in an informed manner for those imprisoned for their faith. Bibles Unbound is an opportunity to help get Bibles, in the people's language, into countries where missonaries are unable to go. I have been a part of both of these ministries when I can and I have learned much from being able to be a part of these opportunities. To learn more about the persecuted church or either of these mentioned ministries please go to: http://www.persecution.com/ and