An Apology

I am sorry that I have not written for the past month and a half. Things have been crazy here and I have been so focused on summer school and 4 online classes that I am taking that I have done a lousy job of keeping up with this blog. By the way, I have discovered that you should never try to do 4 online classes at one time and teach summer school at the same time. I haven't gotten to bed before midnight in the last week or more. I am feeling overwhelmed and frustrated with myself for not being able to keep up with everything in the way that I would like. God has been very gracious to me despite my overwhelmed state and panicky nature. He reminds me daily of the importance of what I do and that there is more to my life than just the job that I do, as important as that is. I will try to do better with writing and thank you for listening.

A Big Step

Today I took a big step and called an adoption agency about adopting a Special Needs child. I have always wanted children but have not been in a position where I could have my own. In the past, I have told myself that it is not good to try to raise a child as a single parent and I know what that's like as my dad passed away when I was eight. By the way, my mom did a great job with the three of us and I am by no means denigrating her gifts and/or her sacrifices, I am very grateful for my mother and love her very much. I have decided that while this will be a difficult and challenging road for me, that I can not continue to watch children grow up in foster homes and residential facilities as wonderful as most of them are. I must be willing to put feet to my faith and my beliefs. If what I claim is true (which I know it is) than I must be willing to walk my faith out and in this case that means seriously looking into adoption of a special needs child. There may be many who will say that I should not do this, that I can't afford it, that what I do each day is enough, or that my chronic illnesses will get in the way but regardless of those things (true or not), I know that I must move forward and I believe that this is what God is asking of me at this moment. I would like to ask for your prayers as I look at moving forward with this, that I would have God's heart and leading each step of the way.

Summer Corn Chowder and Comments that Made Me Think

I treated myself to a You Pick Two at Panera Bread (St. Louis Bread Company) tonight for dinner. A half of a turkey sandwich, iced tea and summer corn chowder (and you were wondering how that got in the title). Yes, I am crazy, I had soup on a day when it was 90 some degrees here in Springfield. It was very good soup, by the way, and if you have the opportunity, I would recommend it. There's a chowder at Longhorn that I like, as well, it has lobster and shrimp in it but I can't remember the name of it. Anyway on to other things. I don't, as a rule, listen to other peoples' conversations but when you are speaking loudly it is rather hard to miss. There was a well dressed woman sitting with several other ladies and commenting on careers that did not make money. She commented that being a teacher would never make you enough money or something to that effect. She is right that teachers don't make near the money of others with the same experience, etc. Both of my sisters and most of my friends have always and will always make more money than I do. Having said that, her comment caught my attention and it made me think of something that happened the other day. I was out enjoying an iced tea and reading a really good book when a woman and her son walked past me and I heard her comment to her son that when he was finished in the restroom, he was to sit in the chair, at the table, across from me and wait for her. The young man nodded and repeated what his mother had said to him when she asked him to and then entered the restroom. When the young man exited the restroom he walked right to the chair, sat down, smiled at me and waved. I said hello and asked him his name which he shared with me. We had a short conversation while he was waiting for his mother and then when she came out of the ladies room he introduced her to me, the three of us talked for a few minutes and I learned that the young man would be going to camp that night and that he was buying his mom lunch. He was very proud of the fact that he was paying for lunch with his own money. The two of them went up to get their lunch and I returned to my book. A few minutes later, the lady who had been sitting at the booth in front of me, got up to leave and as she was standing, she turned and asked me if I was a teacher. I was a bit surprised by the question and though I answered yes, there must have been a question on my face. The lady commented that I must work in Special Education because I had been so "patient and caring" in my conversation with the young man. I smiled and said thank you and then the woman stated that "You are in the right profession, never doubt it." I was shocked and said thank you again, the woman smiled and repeated her statement, before saying goodbye. If you put the comment from tonight with the comment from the other day, they make for some interesting conversations. Those of us who teach and truly care for the children in our classes and schools may never make what others will in a monetary form but perhaps we are there to make others think about what they do and perhaps why they do it. My students may never be able to hold a conversation with me or their families like that young man did but the little things they do are just as important if not more so. And in case I've not said it, thank you to all of the teachers and students who have crossed my path throughout my life you have given me more than I can ever say. Perhaps the woman at Panera tonight needs to spend some time with some of you.

Tortured and Imprisoned for Reading the Bible

In North Korea people are tortured for reading the Bible if they are discovered. This also happens in China, Iran, Eriteria and other countries. Believers are imprisoned, tortured, lose their jobs, lose their homes and other terrible things simply for reading their Bibles, telling others about Christ or simply for being Christians. There are many wonderful ministries serving those persecuted for their faith. Two of the ministries of Voice of the Martyrs that I'd like to mention are Prisoner Alert and Bibles Unbound. Prisoner Alert allows people to learn about Christians imprisoned for their faith and gives us the opportunity to write an encouraging letter to one or more of these believers, e-mail government officials on behalf of the prisoner, and of course, most importantly, pray in an informed manner for those imprisoned for their faith. Bibles Unbound is an opportunity to help get Bibles, in the people's language, into countries where missonaries are unable to go. I have been a part of both of these ministries when I can and I have learned much from being able to be a part of these opportunities. To learn more about the persecuted church or either of these mentioned ministries please go to: http://www.persecution.com/ and

Random Thoughts

Today was the talent show at work. There were so many great acts from the students and even the staff. I am told that I stunned some people, I sang one of my favorite songs and I am told I did a very good job. My staff tell me that I now have a different persona at work, I was the quiet teacher who's name a lot of people did not know, but now because of the talent show and prom (not sure what happened at prom) I am a surprise. On Tuesday we went on a field trip to have lunch and go bowling. It was such fun to see the kids interacting in the community and enjoying bowling, the smiles, giggles and hand claps were such a great thing to see. We will be going into the community more often I think. It dawned on me this afternoon that I have been given a gift, the chance to see the little things with my students. A hug, a squeal, a hand clap, smiles, giggles, and some great faces. The things I get to do every work day are a gift and the chance to see that gift in the eyes of my students makes a lot of the rest of what I am living with every day more bearable. It hasn't been easy lately to deal with the health issues but I need to remember that every day the children I work with have much more difficult things to handle and not at all the same level of understanding. So maybe, in a way, I have been given more than one gift.

Thoughts on Memorial Day

Memorial Day is a day to remember those who have served our country in the Armed Services. I have not had that distinction but I have family members and friends who have, so to my two half brothers, my uncles, cousins and several friends who have served Thank You. Your sacrifices are not forgotten and though seldom mentioned they are appreciated. My family and friends have served during all the wars of my lifetime though some may never have seen battle. I know when my brothers and uncles came home from Vietnam they may not have been given the heroes welcome that they deserved, I hope that we are doing better in that area now. I have watched families of my friends deal with the separation from loved ones who are serving and I think that they too deserve to be honored for their day to day sacrifices while their loved ones are not with them. I have been fortunate, so far, in that all those I have cared about, who have served, have come home but for those who have not. thank you for your sacrifice and please know that there are many in this country who are very grateful for those who can and do serve in our military.

Blogging for the Persecuted Church

As you may have noticed there is a badge on my blog site stating that I blog for the persecuted church. This is an opportunity to share information from the Voice of the Martyrs ministry about the persecuted church around the world. The commitment that I have made is to write on the persecuted church at least twice a month in order to encourage other Christians to learn more about this often forgotten group of our brothers and sisters. You may wonder why I am choosing to do this. I am doing this in the hopes that others will want to learn more about those who are risking their lives, livelihood and families just for believing in the saving grace of the Lord Jesus Christ and to remind myself and others that we know nothing of true persecution in this country though it may well be coming. How willing are we to face losing our jobs, our homes, even our lives for believing in Christ and sharing that belief with others? I pray that my answer would be that I am willing to die for Christ. In this country where often times we may be told in church, on the radio or television that believing in Christ will make us wealthy, successful, without pain or disease if we just have enough faith, are we willing or even able to endure persecution, ridicule, loss of face, etc because of our belief in Christ and if we are not how real is our faith. I have been asking myself these questions for a long time and maybe this is one way I can put some feet to my faith. Christ never promised that we would not suffer and I pray that if it comes to having to suffer for my faith I would be as courageous as those such as Graham Staines and his sons in India who were burned alive for their faith in the Lord. If you are interested in more information on the persecuted church please see these two sites: http://www.persecution.com/ and http://www.persecutionblog.com/ and thanks for listening.